Easier Than I Thought It Would Be:
- Going on trips and out of town with an infant. She's a good traveler and adjusts well to her surroundings.
- Letting family watch her so Poppa and I can have alone time, date night, or a free weekend. When I saw how much her extended family loves her and respects our "rules" and ways, then we were very much at peace with them keeping her. Plus they love it too.
- Changing diapers
- Getting her dressed up and keeping her clean.
- Co-Sleeping, I was scared I'd roll over her, or hurt her, but knew it was imporant to us to do and not once did we ever come close to rolling on her.
- Keeping myself clean and spit up free, love those burp cloths.
- Taking care of her every need. What if I missed something or she got hurt because of my not paying attention or not knowing? But so far I'd like to think I've been on the money in this category. She has her every need met.
- Falling in love at 1st sight. I was conditioned to believe love was a gradual thing, boy was I wrong. I know for everyone it's different but for me, love at first sight!
- Saving money, still going out, finding good deals. I thought once we had a child, we'd never have money to do anything fun again, and while it's been tight, I've found countless ways to not only do fun things but continue to save money.
- Enjoy being a mom. I was concerned that my need to protect her from harm would overshadow the enjoyment of being a mom. Even though I still protect, every day is nothing but joyful and enjoying.
Harder Than I Thought It Would Be
- Giving Birth. I was determined to have a natural drug free birth. I believe God created a woman's body to do so without the need of drugs (in most cases). I transferred from my OB and hospital to a mid wife in my 30th week. I wanted a home birth but settled for a birthing center. When I was finally 2 weeks late, a natural alternative was given to me to start labor which I did for 3 days, in the most intense pain I've ever been in but I hadn't gone in labor on my own and she hadn't dropped down, I was not dialted past a 2 for 3 days when the decision was made that I would need to go to the hospital. I went from this dream of birthing naturally and drug free to having every drug known to man given to me and not only did I not have a drug free birth but I didn't have a natural birth, I had to have a c-section. She weighed 10.8 pounds. I had a bad case of the blues due to this. I was devestated but we're good now and will try for a drug free natural birth again.
- Breastfeeding. I did not get the support we needed up front to show me how to do it correctly. I gave in and listened to the dr and nurses at the hospital that because of her size she was needing more than what I was giving, she ate every 45 minutes until we gave in and supplemented with formula. I was raw, cracked and bleeding for weeks due to not having a good latch and she wasn't getting much. I pumped and pumped to help but by month 3 she was on formula only. I have a lot of guilt to this day but know what to do differently next time.
- Going back to work. I thought I'd always want to work, that I would need that outlet and time with adults. I was so wrong. I deal with enough guilt on my own but the comments from others of how someone else is raising my child or children in day cares have behavior problems, or if it really was important to me I'd find a way to stay home, do not help.
- Keeping my house clean. I need a maid. Thankfully my husband has really pitched in but I take pride in a clean home and the fact that I did it and I don't have that now. I don't like needing help. I want to be able to work full time, take care of her, cook, clean, exercise, and still feel sexy enough for Popps. HA.
- Losing the weight and exercising. I have no energy to do this and I know if I would just do it then I would have more energy but getting up earlier than 5:00am is not happening and at night when I get home, after cooking, getting her bag ready for the next day, making lunch for all 3 of us for the next day, bath, bow orders, put to bed, all I want to do is go to bed myself.
- Making friends. I thought that having CM would open a door to meet other couples with children that we could do stuff with but most moms don't work and only do play dates during the day and the rest already have set friends and getting into a new group has proven very hard. I miss friends, having them, doing stuff with them, etc.
- The lack of sleep. Monkey didn't sleep throught the night until 13 months and we tried everything and every book. That means we went a whole year of not sleeping a full 6 or more hours unless she was with Grams. And if you don't know me or haven't read THIS POST then you don't know that sleep to me is better than chocolate. That can take it's tole on the body and mind. It was very frustrating and stressful. We knew she was capable of it, just didn't go about making it happen until it was too late to make it easy.
It's Friday and that means it's New Friend Friday and Friday Follower and Follow Me Friday Day so join up over there with the fun and make some new friends.
