Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Dear So and So

It's time for our weekly therapy session with Dear So and So. I don't know about you but as much as I LOVE having a long weekend it really seems to throw my week off. I'm extra tired this week, cranky, behind in my work, and bloated! So I'm in dire need of this therapy session.

Dear Older Apparently Educated Woman at the Flea Market:
UM WOW!  You are probably in your late 50's, dressed nicely and appeared to be professional and educated.  BUT when you opened your mouth I was reminded to never judge a book by it's cover.  I have heard older generations complain about the younger generations not being educated or taking school seriously and being slackers but you my dear lady friend have put your generation to shame.  Real conversation Ya'll.
Lady:  I need to get 52 tin stars to go on the barn mural I'm painting of the American flag. 
Husband:  Why do you need 52?
Lady:  Because there are 52 states.
Husband:  No there are 50 states.
Lady: No there are 52.
Husband: I assure you there are 50
Lady: No there are 50 mainland states then Alaska and Hawaii
Husband: Excuse me sir (owner of metal tin booth) Can you tell me how many states there are?
Sir:  I don't know
Lady:  Well I'll just get 54 just to be on the safe side.

Dear Gross Lady:
I can't tell you how bad you grossed me out.  I too have been in your shoes, just finished eating, have food stuck in my teeth and no floss.  Heck I've used random objects to pick stuff out of my teeth before, paper, straws, but you went way overboard when you proceeded to pluck a hair from your head and floss your teeth with it.  I do believe that constitutes you as being a little crazy!  The least you could do is go to the bathroom. 
Totally grossed out,

Dear Wanna Be Milfs at the water park:
It was one thing to see you parading around the wave pool like you were doing a photo shoot but it was a whole nother ball game you using two inner tubes a piece to lay out on.  One for your legs and one for you body.  Little kids came up and asked you to use one as there were no more available and I could not believe it when you told them no.  I did however get quite the chuckle when one of the lifeguards came over and requested you give one up. HA.  Oh and you may think that I'm just jealous of you but I assure you that while I too have extra weight I'm so not jealous of your muffin tops and boobies hanging to the knees thus the title wanna be Milfs.  Keep trying girls.
Me snickering at you

Dear Self:
Please please stop procrastinating on every project, task, work load at hand.  It is really getting old and it causes you to do things like rush to get Monkey's birthday invitations in the mail and address, stamp, and toss in the mail slot WITHOUT the actual invitation in them.  It was so fun waiting around for the mailman to come by and request that he let you retrieve those said envelopes, come back and start over.  Really!?
So frustrated by you,

Dear Readers:
You rock, now leave me some comment love and tell me what your Dear So and So's are!

Happy Hump Day Ya'll.
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