Conversations With A 2 Year Old

Back when we were childless I swore that I would not become that mom who does nothing but talk of her child, tell stories at adult only gatherings, and push pictures onto strangers and know my boundaries.  I'd also refrain from comparing what my child could do and not try to trump stories no matter how much more awesome my kid was than yours.  I would roll my eyes at facebook posts of silly conversations or "funny stories" and think to myself, "that wasn't funny at all!"

So here I am with a child of my own and I really do try to stick to what I swore I wouldn't do so that I'm not eating too many of my words.  I mean I've got enough of a weight issue to deal with from eating too much fast food, I don't need to add to it with my own words ya know! 

But I did want to share this story although you may not find it as cute or funny as I.  My first edition of Conversations with a 2 year old:

Let me paint the picture:  We're sitting at the table for dinner and I'm done eating (Poppa hasn't made it home from work yet) and Monkey is working on her apple sauce.  As I sit and wait I pick up my iphone to check my email which is a no-no at the table but Poppa isn't there to catch me so whatev!

Monkey:  I wanna see I wanna see I wanna see I wanna see
(History for you.... she loves to look at pictures on the computer or our iphones so anytime we pick it up to use, she thinks we are looking at pictures and wants to see them)

Me:  I'm not looking at pictures, I'm doing some work.

Monkey:  Momma, your phone is poopy.  (Just another reason I'm ready to be a stay at home mom so that I can shelter her from older kids at daycare teaching her this nonsense!  BTW that's total sarcasm if you can't read it because I'm sure it's from us she picks these things up from, I'm just thankful she didn't say "Momma your phone is Shitty" because that's the kind of thing I or her Poppa, and by I or her Poppa I mean her Poppa, would teach her, cause we rock as parents like that!) (Also my phone really is poopy, I'm constantly complaining about it crashing and locking up)

Me:  Monkey, that is not nice, do not say that again.

Monkey: Momma, your phone is poopy.

Me:  Monkey, this is your warning, if you say it again you will be in timeout for 2 minutes.  Now apologize to Momma.

Monkey:  OOOOKKKKK, Momma, I'm sorry your phone is SSSOOOO poopy!

Once I gain my composure and can speak without laughing I simply say "me too baby, me too!"

Poppa and I are aware of the trouble this one is going to give us!!

Worthy of note, this is her "I am being good" look.  You know that grin is just screaming, I'm really thinking of how I'm going to conquer you in 3 moves or less!
So, do you have any stories you want to share to make me laugh and make me feel better about knowing my child is not the only one that is smarter than her momma?!

Happy Thursday Ya'll.